The 3rd single taken from Jessica Wilde’s debut album, out later this year, ‘Cruel’ signals Wilde delving back into her first love, a toxic relationship that inspired a harnessing of her bisexual identity but also led her to addiction - a subject she’s tackling on her debut album.

On ‘Cruel’ Wilde collaborated with producer Jay Nebula and Grammy award winning producer Kiris Houston who have worked heavily with the likes of The Disciples and Little Mix. ‘Cruel’ has a nice lazy summer haze 90’s classic hip hop beat and r’n’b vibe where Jessica is at her most cutesy, sultry but equally dangerous as her lyrics offer a little sting in the tail as she questions, “Why you gotta be so cruel?” As she caresses every word and makes her ex-lover only dream about what could have been.

Jessica sat down with Wordplay Magazine to chat about her upcoming album and battle with addiction and overcoming it.

Taking it back to the beginning, what sparked your love for music?

Listening to Nina Simone and Billie Holiday blare out my front room speakers, watching my mum perform Jazz gigs, she was wild! My dad performing his one man shows about his crazy adventures round South America, sitting in my brother’s room listening to him and his friends DJ drum and bass and do MC battles. I was surrounded by music and art since I can remember. My first Cd was The Fugees, ’Killing me softly’ still gives me tingles when I listen to it now, ugh Lauryn Hill’s voice. Dizzee Rascal and Ms Dynamite made me wanna rap, Teedra Moses Complex Simplicity was the album of my teens.

Your project is dropping later this year. There’s a lot of deep messages in there, including the recent single Wasted, Fuck You I’m Sober Now. What made you decide to get so personal with it?

The album is dropping in December, this album means a lot to me because it’s about the big shifts I made in my life from drug addiction, depression and toxic relationships to building back my self-love, self-worth and going sober. The most deeply and exposing tunes are yet to come and honestly sometimes I feel absolutely terrified at the thought of sharing them but I performed them live a few times and the connection was crazy, the room fell silent and I had people message me saying how much it moved them, that made me feel like this message is something really worth getting out there, and well, I’m already deep in’it, so there’s no turning back now ha! I said to myself even if this only reaches one person f*ck it it’s worth it.

What struggles have you had to overcome whilst battling addiction?

I attempted to go sober a few times but kept falling back. It was that habitual cycle that was hard to break. I was also attached to the fun times, the freedom or more so the escapism of being high or drunk, it became my identity… I was wild, crazy Jess, so who the f*ck would I be sober?! For a while I felt isolated as I didn’t want to go out with certain friends anymore, I felt a social anxiety. Honestly though, getting over those fears and being sober at party’s has actually helped me gain way more confidence on a different kinda’ level.

Would you say your sound has changed since becoming sober?

My sound has always had soul, jazz and hip hop elements to it but now I’d say my lyrics are a lot more raw, especially as I’ve brought back spoken word and rap into my music. Going sober definitely inspired lyrical content, I mean I’ve written a whole album about the ride, starting with the lead tracks ‘Wasted/ f*ck U I’m sober now’. This project is an authentic delve back into my youth and south London roots. I come from a mixed race background and multi cultural area so I feel my music has always been a melting pot of sounds and influences but with this project I took that even further. My mum played a lot of jazz around the house but also Nirvana, who I looove! and Bowie. You can hear the more indie, punk rock vibes on ‘F*ck U I’m sober’ mixed with Ska guitars, reggae-ton drum beats and Hip hop, It’s a real combo and I love that.

Do you have any advice for anyone out there who might be struggling with addiction themselves?

AA helped me for a while, It’s great for support and It has a real spiritual vibe which i didn’t expect. Meditation, yoga, connecting with nature helped me. Also listening to spiritual teachers like Echart Tolle ‘The Power of now’, is a good one to start with. I’d say just listen to as many uplifting videos of spiritual leaders like Abraham Hicks, Deepak Chopra, Mooji or even motivational people like Tony Robbins as possible. Listening to stories of people who have been through addiction and overcome it I find really inspiring, I love Russel Brand! You gotta’ feed your psyche with this stuff and raise your vibration, find something bigger than yourself that drives you. I really do believe in that, it’s powerful work and now, no lie, I feel like I’m living on a whole new frequency, I attract new kinds of people into my life who inspire and uplift me. The people you have around you is a massive one! If they bring constant drama and negative vibes you gotta’ make a choice whether that relationship is worth it. It’s tough and nothing changes over night but it’s syncing into that trust and taking everyday as it comes. Practising kindness to yourself and becoming aware of your thoughts and changing them to something more positive. After a while you’ll look back and be like wowwww I’ve come a long way! That’s what happened to me anyway.

Was there anything specific that helped you overcome it or was it a selection of things that helped?

Well, I have been sober for about 15 months now and I’ve managed to party sober a few times and it was actually a vibe, not having a hangover is the best thing ever! I had to have an operation on my vocal cords which obviously was a big wake up call for me as the thought of not being able to sing terrified me. I then had this crazy outbreak of eczema which spread all over my body and got infected. I was also coming out of this toxic relationship that had been going on and off for years. Looking back it was like all these things came at once and were blessings in disguise. It made me stop and think about what I truly wanted for my life. I started to get interested in natural healing through diet, plant medicine, meditation and it set me off on a spiritual path. I came across Chakabars on Instagram and met my Yoga teacher Felix Price, and I could really relate to them as they were spiritual and healthy but from ends ha! Before that i’d just seen things like veganism and yoga more for middle class people and didn’t really feel it was my vibe but coming across them, i was like nahhh I wanna’ be a part off this movement! I also got into Muay Thai which really pushed me physically and gave me a whole new discipline and focus. As I started to feel healthier, I found my craving for drink and substances lessened. I’d also begun feeling connected to something bigger than myself and that meant I wasn’t stuck in self-pity so I didn’t want to escape from life any more, in fact I started loving life.

Sticking with the power of music, are there any albums that you’ve currently got on heavy rotation?

At the moment I’m loving Green Tea Peng, Cleo Sol and Sault who also produced Cleo’s album. I feel a realness and authenticity coming through these artists, they’ve got something to say, and I love that! It’s a whole new wave. I also have my own playlist on repeat, well actually it’s my alter ego, pink wig Charlene’s Spotify playlist called ‘P*ssY PWR’, it includes all Charlene’s favourite female artists of the moment. The idea came to start the playlist after hearing a talk about the lack of representation for female artists, which was really eye opening, I had no idea there was such a disparity! Charlene weren’t havin’ none if it!! She’s putting female artists first! Check her out on my insta @iamjessicawilde

What do you like to do when you’re not making music?

I still love to party - sober of course! I love dancing and going to gigs, cooking food and eating it, lol, I’m very talented at the eating part. Good films, me, my mum and uncle have been watching a film every Sunday night during lockdown. I watched Concrete Cowboy the other day and would definitely say it’s worth a watch.

Finally, can you tell me 3 things that you can't live without when you are in the studio?

Good vibes! The vibes have got to be good; if it’s not it's like a bad first date and you can't write a good song, some banter between serious writing and I have to have my writing journal, there’s a specific one I always use for song writing and it has to be that one.

Jessica Wilde’s new single and visual ‘Cruel’ from her fourth coming album is out today, on all streaming platforms.